Turning 21.

In America, as far as I know, turning 21 just equates to finally being able to drink alcohol (legally). But other than that, 21 is just 21. So why am I so freaking terrified of the fact that midnight tonight I will officially be 21?


I don’t care much about alcohol (frankly, I don’t like the taste), but turning 21 for me means that in a couple of months I will be graduating from college. Turning 21 means that I have to find a job that will sustain me enough that I could live alone–be independent. Turning 21 means that this is the start of my LIFE, basically. When you’re in school, you’re sort of protected. I don’t dorm, I still live with my parents, and I don’t think I will be moving out when I turn 21. But, “protection” in the sense where it’s (kinda) okay if you don’t have it all figured out yet, because all that is expected of you is to just go to school, study, get some life experiences here and there, maybe a part-time job, and that’s it.


But once you graduate, or are reaching graduation, all eyes are on your next move. Preparing for graduation means having to face that dreaded question: “What are your plans for the future?” Lady, I don’t even know who I am–how am I suppose to know the future?!?!


I know what they mean though. How are you going to support yourself? You have a Bachelor’s degree–what are you going to do with it? (Such scary questions). In my case, I’m getting a BA in Psychology, and I do plan on using that in some shape or form. Maybe. My main goal is to write. Get published. That is all the pressure I’m putting on myself because I’ve done that in the past (putting multiple pressures on myself) and it didn’t work out for the best.


So, that’s what turning 21 means to me. Getting everything sorted out so I can jump start my life in the best way possible. I do hope that in the future I can do some acting, film-making, and traveling. But I think that the pressure should stop, at least the pressure in your head. If you’re scared like me, don’t worry. You’re obviously not alone. It’s normal not to know exactly what you’re going to do after graduation. Figure it out by easing into adulthood. Listen to your true passions, and go after them.


Happy Birthday to me! :)


P.S. Today I saw Interstellar and whoaaaa what a film. I wish I knew more about astrophysics. Learning science in a classroom setting never worked out for me, so maybe after graduation I can start reading books on the topic and educate myself. See, I have plans after all!