Catskills Animal Sanctuary, & New Headshots!

For my graduation present, my parents took me to Catskills Animal Sanctuary! It took 2 hours to get there, but I love road trips. My mom and I were the only ones in our group for the tour, and our tour guide was so nice and so knowledgable! It was a relief to finally be amongst people who loved animals just as much as I did, and knew even more about the sufferings these animals go through for the expense of human taste.

I wish I took more photos, but I was too "in the moment" with nature, haha.

I also read this amazing book "The Sense of an Ending" by Julian Barnes. Amazing book on nostalgia, memory, and reflection.

On June 6th, I went to take my first headshots! I've been wanting to get into acting more, so getting a headshot is essential! The photographer was really nice, and I plan on going back to get new ones.

Not gonna lie - I am not a fan of my face. haha!

Graduation!!!

May 26th

I decided to spend the early days of my vacation watching the Harry Potter movies that I haven't seen yet. As a child, I watched the first three films but then they changed the director and I just didn't like it anymore. Three years ago, I read all the books and I loovvvvveeeedddd it (plus Snape<3). I didn't think I would like the films, but I did! It helps when you read the books first because for me, I lost interest at certain parts and wasn't paying attention. But I knew the story already so I wasn't lost.

May 27th 

Watched the last HP movie - cried!

Hedwig<3

I also went to the eye doctor to order some new contact lenses. It's been a while since I've last worn contacts, and I figured I needed them if I'm going to pursue acting and eventually go back to taking ballet class.

I went shopping for some make-up and if you know me, you've already heard my struggles of my incapabilities of applying make-up. Since the next day was my graduation, I decided to make the effort and learn how to apply eyeliner and eyeshadow. I got it down eventually, and I didn't want to "waste my face" so I filmed an All About my Journals TAG on Youtube. If you haven't already, and if you love journals, please subscribe to my channel! youtube.com/scrumtrulescence1210 [I don't know why I also choose long-ass names for my links]

May 28th

College graduation! This is the first graduation where I actually made an effort in my appearance.

But because I'm Asian, the curls that I spent the majority of my prep time on melted away in the humidity. I met up with my friend and we baked in the sun as we waited for the ceremony to start. 

As we walked with the other psych majors, the graduation march played, and it got me a little emotional. I can't believe that I made it to graduation. I had always been a good student, even earning a full-tuition scholarship (which I am so grateful for. Seriously. To graduate college without any debts is a blessing and an accomplishment in and of itself), college had been a difficult and long journey. There were many times when I thought of dropping out and doing other things, but my parents told me to stick it through. And it was so worth it. I discovered acting. I made new friends. I took courses with professors I admired and didn't resent. I earned my BA in Psychology, and although I'm not sure how I'll be using it directly, it's the most valuable thing I've earned thus far.

Our keynote speaker was Gen. Colin Powell and he gave such an inspiring speech. He too didn't do particularly well in college grades-wise, but he found a passion and pursued it with humility. He said, "other people's opinions of you is none of your business." He broke barriers and now has an entire department named after him in a school where he received mostly C's. It was honor to go up to get my diploma and shake his hand.

After the ceremony, I went to a buffet with my parents and my brother. I'm so grateful to God for my family and for the guidance He's given me this past 4 years. I honestly feel like through the struggles my faith in Him grew, and it was a much needed experience.

That night, I laid in bed thinking, What Next?

ABT, Film Festival, & Last Day of School!

May 16th
It felt like I spent the entire morning on the train, because on Saturdays the trains delay like there's all the time in the world. But it was worth it because I got student rush tickets to go see ABT!!!!

It's ABT's 75th Anniversary so they were showing a program called Classic ABT. I got to see Isabella Boylston in Theme & Variations, Hee Seo in Jardin aux Lilacs, and Misty Copeland in Rodeo. Love, love, love ABT. It would be a dream come true to dance for them one day, but in whatever capacity, be it student, dancer, or patron/audience member, ABT will always have a special place in my heart.

May 17th - May 19th
These days were spent mostly working on final scenes/ monologues. I've been trying to complete the transition from vegetarianism to veganism, but it's been hard, especially under the stress. But I made myself a simple meal of penne and tomato sauce with kale!

May 20th
Went to my school's BFA Film Festival, because I acted in one of the thesis films.

It was so nice seeing everyone dressed up, and all of their hard work finally coming to fruition. I only stayed for the first batch of films, and everyone did an amazing job. It was pretty daunting seeing my big face on the big screen, and when I saw the opening shot of a close up of my face, I almost gagged. That is the natural response of seeing myself. But overall, I thought the film was pretty good, although I hate my voice!!!

May 21st - May 22nd
Final day of classes! It's sooo hard saying good bye to professors and people in your class. Granted, you might see them again in the future, but it's not going to be the same, especially in my acting classes. We're all a group, and it sucks that we won't all be together again, performing and commenting on each other's scenes. Everyone in that class is talented, so I'm sure I'll be hearing about them in the future!

For my last final, I had to prepare a commercial monologue and a film monologue. I did a Garnier Fructis one and one from the film Rachel Getting Married. I've never seen that film which is why I chose to do it from there b/c I don't want to be copying Anne Hathaway's performance. The monologue didn't go as planned, and of course I was pretty disappointed with myself, but whatever because SCHOOL IS OVER!!

I literally flew out of school yelling "I'm freeee!" and I knew I freaked out the security guard, but I don't care because I'm done with school foreveerrrrrr. It still hasn't sunk in yet, but when it does, I'm sure the feeling will be pretty daunting.

May 23rd
Went to Long Island with parents & a family friend. Had lots of fun and got to see Avengers: Age of Ultron! To be honest, there were many parts where it was boring but the fighting sequences were cool. I don't really fangirl over the Avengers movies like other people, but I enjoy them a lot. I love Elizabeth Olsen though, and I was looking forward to her scenes (and James Spader's).

May 24th - May 25th

I am a huge Jessica Chastain fan, so I saw A Most Violent Year - and to be honest it was pretty disappointing. It wasn't violent at all - in fact, I thought everyone was pretty nice. But I loved the acting!!

Final Papers Stress

May 5th - May 6th
Watched this documentary called Gardeners of Eden, and cried my eyes out! It's about orphaned elephants who are abandoned because poachers killed their mothers to make ivory out of their tusks. It makes me so mad and upset all at once. I want to do everything I can to support the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust because they do so much to take care of the elephants and reintroduce them back to wildlife. They also help other animals affected by the attack on elephants. The whole ivory trade makes me sick and I hope they'll catch the poachers and business people involved. More should be done to protect these majestic animals. Once I get some money (get a job ahem ahem) I'm going to be a foster parent to one or more of the elephants.

May 7th - May 9th
Presented my final scene in acting 2. I really didn't like the scene in general and felt disappointed in myself (the theme of the following posts will be being disappointed in myself, haha). Worked on other final scenes and final papers for psychology!

May 10th
Happy Mother's Day! I made my mom pancakes & gave her her gift. I love her a lot and she does so much - working to show my appreciation for her more!

May 11th - May 15th
These days were filled with writing papers, rehearsing scenes, and saying good bye to professors!

Trip to New Jersey

May 3rd
Errands, errands, errands. Didn't enjoy this day in particular because I hate judgmental people.

May 4th
I know, a trip to New Jersey doesn't sound like the funnest thing in the world. But this day was really special because it was a nice outing with my parents that I don't have that often.

We had to go for an appointment, and while I was waiting in the waiting room, I was browsing through Time Magazine, where I found an article on Kazuo Ishiguro. I loved Never Let Me Go, and I've been itching to read a few more of his works. But here's a quote that I came across:

"I'm kind of a plain writer--that's always my style...I'd gone through various ways of writing songs, and I ended up with something that was quite plain on the surface. The emotions would be there, but they'll be slightly obliquely there, in the words themselves. People have to feel it between the lines."

Afterwards we went to a nearby mall to eat at the food court. I had a delicious meal of tofu and eggplant (I don't really like eggplant, so I gave it to my mom), veggie fried rice, and vegetable lo mein.

Then mom and I walked around and I found a dress for my graduation for only 7 dollars!! The store was closing down and so was having a clearance sale. It's such a beautiful dress, can't wait to wear it.

We headed to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy my mom a mother's day gift. My mother doesn't like surprises and would rather pick out her own gift. Then we went to Path Mark to get some ice cream and then we headed home!

#NoAgGag, Pacquiao Fight

May 1st

I joined Mercy for Animal's #NoAgGag campaign on Instagram. I was happy that my selfie was featured on their instagram & facebook page! 

That's me in the middle of the bottom row

The meat industry is trying to silence whistleblowers and hide the cruelty that goes behind factory farming. Even if you eat meat, this affects you too! Whistleblowers are the ones who expose unsafe meat for consumption which leads to meat recalls. We need to expose what goes on behind our food! What if you ate a meal at a restaurant and wanted to see how the chef made it, but the chef is tirelessly trying to get you away from the kitchen. You can't even get a glimpse. Would you still eat food from there? I would hope not. I would hope you would be wondering what the chef is trying to hide - what's the truth behind what you're eating. That's exactly what this Ag-Gag Bill is. It's the people who make your food trying to make sure you don't know how your food is made! We can't let them win. Please visit NoAgGag.Com to sign the petition and learn more!

May 2nd

My parents and I went over to a family friend's house to watch the MayPac fight! We came a little early to eat and stuff ourselves with too much food! My parents had the traditional Filipino meals (laden with meat), but as a vegetarian, I made sure to bring my own food. I ate veggie patties with mashed potatoes and corn, mangoes, and chips!

We watched the documentaries that came before the fight, and it got a little repetitive. Like, yes, we get that this is a highly anticipated fight, please stop saying it in every sentence! But having said that, it made the actual fight all the more frustrating.

Before I get into that, I have to mention that this is my first time watching a boxing match live, mostly because my parents have never really invested in Pay-Per-View. But our family friend bought it anyways and instead of watching it by herself, she invited us, which was really nice of her! I fell asleep during the two amateur matches, but once the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight started, I was soo awake!

I think the real highlight of the match was seeing Jimmy Kimmel as part of Pacman's entourage. Before that fight, I loved watching Kimmel sing along to Pacquiao's entrance song - it's hilarious!

I think that it's awesome that Jimmy Kimmel would work so hard learning a song in a foreign language just so he could be in his entourage. So I was stoked to see he was there! My parents and I were rolling on the floor laughing.

But the actual fight was sooo disappointing! The main thing was that Mayweather was so scared of Pacquaio that he kept running away from him! And when Pacquaio did get in his range, he would just hug him or hide his face. What a coward--we want to see an actual fight! Both boxers went out of that fight without a bruise. 

Britney Spears's song Sometimes describes Mayweather perfectly

I got to hand it to Pacquiao. He never ran away, took the blows, but calculated his punches effectively so he wouldn't get knocked out. He's a true boxer. I'm not just saying this because I'm Filipino - but PacMan deserved to win! Mayweather is a lousy, scared boxer. I don't know if his arrogance is just part of his business tactic to attract more viewers, but Mayweather deserved the boos. Pacquiao is the true winner, and we love him no matter what! 

First Time Filming!

Over Spring Break, I had the joy of working on my first short film! It was a student thesis film, and I played the lead. It was so much fun--mostly due to the lovely cast & crew.

We would eat dinner together (all vegan!) then shoot all night. Film time was 9pm to 4am but for some reason I wasn't tired. I guess it's because I love acting so much, and I was in most of the scenes, so it wasn't like I was waiting around doing nothing for a long time. One of the scenes involved me running in the freezing cold, but it turned out fine, and as an actor you just got to suck it up and get the shot! I had a great time laughing and joking with the cast and crew, despite it being a serious film!

I also filmed a short scene as a street performer in the subway. I'll admit, I was pretty anxious that I was going to dance some random ballet moves in the middle of the subway where people were passing. I never performed ballet in front of people before (besides when I took class) especially since it was going to be improvised and I hadn't danced in a long time! But I prayed about it, and my anxiety was lifted off of me, and I just did it, and it was great! The director, Kham, is really talented so I was honored to work with him, even if it was for a brief scene!

I can't wait to see the final products. I'm a little nervous to see myself act, but it's all a learning process, and I'm grateful that the directors chose me to be in their films! I can't wait to do more acting, meet and work with amazing people, and channel all these different characters!

I finished my manuscript!

Woohoo! I've been jumping for joy these past few hours because I finallyyy finished my manuscript. Now, when  I say finished, I mean, the plot/structure is all there, and I just need to revise it in terms of line edits, maybe the addition of a couple of more scenes.

I've sent it to two trusted friends for feedback, and now I'm just researching agents and drafting my query letters. I'm sooo excited to finally be at this next step!!!! I don't know when I can actually start sending out queries: it mostly depends on if my final draft lives up to what I wanted this story to be, and I'm 110% happy with it! I don't want to send something out that I know I'll look back on and think: man, I could have worked on it more! I could have fleshed out this scene or this character more.

But, it's going to take time, but I'm happy that my process is moving along, and I'm EXCITED.

Nostalgia.

^^My favorite Beatles song done in a beautiful cover by Judy Collins.
There are MANY, MANY, MANY Beatles songs that are truly magnificent,inspiring,wonderful (they are, after all THE BEATLES) but this song in particular always resonated with me ever since I was a child. Even when I only had a few years of experience in me, nostalgia has always been something that hit me. That made me feel. If you believe in reincarnation, maybe you will say that I was remembering something from a past life. Sometimes I believe in reincarnation--other times I don't.

But whatever I believe in--nostalgia has always been beautiful to me. Whether it's an important theme in a film, book, or music - any artwork with nostalgia gives me chills.

It is a word whose roots come from "homecoming" and "pain." I always find myself looking back at the past. Believe it or not, when I was in 4th grade, I would find myself crying in fits (alone, of course. Even back then I was careful to make sure only I saw my pain) because I would miss being a baby. True story. Crazy, right? Imagine a nine year old crying because they miss the past so much that it hurts. Even right now, as I'm typing this, I am on the verge of tears because I miss so much being a kid. How happy everyone was. & how it'll never be that way anymore.

Not that I, nor my loved ones, will never be happy again. But it's always going to be a different kind of happiness.

But even when it's not related to my past experiences - when I see a montage of someone's life, of someone's past, it always gets to me. The film Mr Nobody got to me because you see his entire life, his mistakes. In My Life - nostalgia.

I can't quite grab the thought and put it into words. but there's a beauty in looking back, to see how things were & can never be again. It's bittersweet.

Writing, Writing, Writing.

Spring Break starts this Friday, and I want to use the majority of it finishing up my manuscript! I already finished part one and part two, and I've outlined the direction where I want to take part three, so I AM PUMPED!

Then I'm going to send it to a trusted friend for feedback and fresh eyes because really, I don't have fresh eyes for this manuscript which I've been working on for 8 years!

After I get her feedback, I'm going to do line edits, and tweaking - and then dum dum dum - START QUERYING.

While I wait for her feedback I should start the research portion of query-ing...so, April is going to be a busy, busy month.

But I'm excited, and hopefully I can remain positive for this journey!

New Jersey

Being from ny, there are many jokes said about our neighbor New Jersey. But, really, there's not much to say about this state unless you're going to Six Flags or Atlantic City. No disrespect intended. haha.

Florida

I've been to Florida twice, and some of those trips have been so memorable, while others have been quite...unpleasant. But this state is definitely a part of me considering when I was 8 years old, it was the destination of my first plane ride.

When I was 8 years old, I visited Miami, Disney World, and Universal Studios, and it was definitely the highlight of my youth. When I try to think of happy thoughts from my early years, that trip is really the only one I can grasp onto.

Of course, I'll be taking more pictures if and when I go back!

Massachusetts.

We used to go to Mass. every year in order to visit the Divine Mercy Shrine. I know there's more to this state, but here's what I've explored so far. 

Pennsylvania

I've been to Pennsylvania more times than I could count, really for it being so close to NY & for the Amish County & Hershey Park.